Dear Jay,
Everyone charts their own course in life. Some lessons are learnt by osmosis and observation, while others are learnt with more bumps and scrapes along the way. The prize I seek in life is wisdom. While it would be hubristic of me to claim that what I’m sharing can be construed as such, my hope is that the “field notes” of my own pursuit will reduce the pain you go through in your life— however vain that endeavour may be. As your maternal grandfather observes, “有时候人生该走的弯路一步也不能少” (trans: sometimes there are no shortcuts to the winding paths in life). Be that as it may, as your father, even if there is but an infinitesimal chance of reducing an iota of your suffering, I wish to do it because I love you.
As I share the child-friendly version with you in person, I will also take more care to record them here, with a more thought, nuance and references, for you to read when you are older. The lessons are here should you need a reminder, here— just as I hope I’m around for you should you need me.
You don’t have to be like me or live up to any of my standards. You are you and I will love you for who you are. These lessons are not prescriptions for how to live your life, but rather reflections of my own experiences and observations. They reflect the environment and circumstances of my life and the cards I was dealt. You will have your cards to play, in a future very different from my past and I hope you play your cards to the best of your ability. There is no need for you to follow my path, or indeed, anyone’s else’s path but your own.
You are headstrong and independent— qualities I admire in you, even if they frustrate me and your mother at times. Life sometimes has a way to humble us and sand down those rough edges, I hope you find a way to keep your spirit and not let the world beat you down.